1
00:00:10,830 --> 00:00:12,081
[EVANY] (TYPING)

2
00:00:12,581 --> 00:00:13,207
[EVANY] DAMMIT.

3
00:00:13,958 --> 00:00:14,333
[ANDREW] I KNEW IT WAS GOING TO

4
00:00:14,667 --> 00:00:15,126
HAPPEN.

5
00:00:15,751 --> 00:00:16,252
[EVANY] WHAT? HOW?

6
00:00:17,002 --> 00:00:17,128
[ANDREW] I CAN SEE THE FUTURE.

7
00:00:18,087 --> 00:00:18,128
[EVANY] THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU STOP

8
00:00:18,129 --> 00:00:18,462
IT FROM HAPPENING?

9
00:00:19,088 --> 00:00:19,130
[ANDREW] I CAN ONLY SEE

10
00:00:19,880 --> 00:00:20,214
THE FUTURE.

11
00:00:20,923 --> 00:00:20,965
[EVANY] OKAY, WELL THAT'S--

12
00:00:21,632 --> 00:00:21,882
[ANDREW/EVANY] STUPID.

13
00:00:23,050 --> 00:00:23,717
[EVANY] OW! WHAT THE FUCK?!

14
00:00:24,468 --> 00:00:24,509
[ANDREW] I KNEW THAT WAS GOING

15
00:00:24,510 --> 00:00:24,635
TO HAPPEN.

16
00:00:25,302 --> 00:00:25,343
[EVANY] THAT'S BECAUSE YOU DID

17
00:00:25,344 --> 00:00:25,553
IT!

18
00:00:27,596 --> 00:00:49,535
[■■]

19
00:00:50,870 --> 00:00:51,287
PICNICFACE, AND WELCOME TO OUR

20
00:00:52,037 --> 00:00:54,165
VERY FIRST EPISODE. WE ARE SUPER

21
00:00:55,040 --> 00:00:55,291
EXCITED TO HAVE A TELEVISION

22
00:00:56,041 --> 00:00:57,042
SHOW, BUT WE SHOULD PROBABLY

23
00:00:57,668 --> 00:00:58,043
INTRODUCE OURSELVES.

24
00:00:58,544 --> 00:00:58,586
[MARK] MARK.

25
00:00:58,711 --> 00:00:58,752
[KYLE] KYLE.

26
00:00:59,170 --> 00:00:59,211
[SCOTT] SCOTT.

27
00:00:59,587 --> 00:00:59,628
[EVANY] EVANY.

28
00:00:59,753 --> 00:00:59,795
[ANDREW] ANDY.

29
00:01:00,129 --> 00:01:00,171
[BILL] BILL.

30
00:01:00,629 --> 00:01:00,671
[CHERYL] CHERYL.

31
00:01:00,880 --> 00:01:00,921
[BRIAN] BRIAN MCCOR...

32
00:01:01,130 --> 00:01:02,882
[ANDREW] IT'S KIND OF BAD TIMING

33
00:01:03,632 --> 00:01:03,674
BECAUSE THIS PLACE THAT WE LIVE

34
00:01:03,966 --> 00:01:06,260
IN AND SHOOT IN IS REALLY

35
00:01:06,677 --> 00:01:07,344
EXPENSIVE.

36
00:01:08,053 --> 00:01:08,137
[KYLE] WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO

37
00:01:08,846 --> 00:01:10,181
GET PART-TIME JOBS THEN.

38
00:01:11,056 --> 00:01:11,515
[ANDREW] WELL, I MEAN... WE'RE

39
00:01:12,266 --> 00:01:13,350
NOT GETTING PART-TIME JOBS. WE

40
00:01:14,018 --> 00:01:14,685
JUST BASICALLY HAVE TO WAIT

41
00:01:15,436 --> 00:01:15,895
UNTIL THE TELEVISION SHOW MONEY

42
00:01:16,437 --> 00:01:16,645
COMES IN, I GUESS.

43
00:01:17,354 --> 00:01:17,396
[KYLE] NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

44
00:01:18,022 --> 00:01:18,189
EVERYONE WORKING IN CANADIAN

45
00:01:19,023 --> 00:01:19,106
ENTERTAINMENT HAS A PART-TIME

46
00:01:19,565 --> 00:01:21,275
JOB, ANDY.

47
00:01:21,775 --> 00:01:23,068
NAME A PERSON.

48
00:01:23,736 --> 00:01:25,654
[ANDREW] I DON'T KNOW.

49
00:01:26,322 --> 00:01:26,989
CHRISTOPHER PLUMMER. DOES

50
00:01:27,698 --> 00:01:27,740
CHRISTOPHER PLUMMER HAVE A

51
00:01:28,115 --> 00:01:29,200
PART-TIME JOB?

52
00:01:29,950 --> 00:01:29,992
[KYLE] YEAH, HE WORKS AT THE

53
00:01:30,117 --> 00:01:31,035
PASSPORT OFFICE.

54
00:01:31,785 --> 00:01:32,369
[ANDREW] BRYAN ADAMS IS A BRYAN

55
00:01:32,953 --> 00:01:34,872
ADAMS IMPERSONATOR.

56
00:01:35,539 --> 00:01:35,581
[KYLE] FOR TIMES THEY CAN'T

57
00:01:36,123 --> 00:01:36,832
AFFORD THE REAL BRYAN ADAMS.

58
00:01:37,541 --> 00:01:39,210
DAVID SUZUKI CRAFTS STILTS.

59
00:01:40,085 --> 00:01:40,419
[ANDREW] THAT IS NOT A JOB.

60
00:01:41,045 --> 00:01:41,212
[MARK] HEY WHAT DID OUR

61
00:01:41,837 --> 00:01:42,546
ACCOUNTANTS SAY?

62
00:01:43,297 --> 00:01:43,339
[ANDREW] THAT WE'VE GOT TO GET

63
00:01:43,839 --> 00:01:44,215
PART-TIME JOBS.

64
00:01:45,090 --> 00:01:46,550
[BRIAN] WHAT? ACCOUNTANT!

65
00:01:47,301 --> 00:01:47,509
[MARK] IS HE GOING TO WALK ALL

66
00:01:48,219 --> 00:01:49,220
THE WAY TO THE ACCOUNTANT?

67
00:01:50,095 --> 00:01:50,221
THAT'S IN VANCOUVER. THAT'S THE

68
00:01:51,013 --> 00:01:51,388
OTHER SIDE OF THE COUNTRY. IS

69
00:01:51,972 --> 00:01:54,516
THAT WHAT HE'S DOING?

70
00:01:55,100 --> 00:01:58,395
[BRIAN] ACCOUNTANT!

71
00:01:58,812 --> 00:02:01,398
ACCOUNTANT!

72
00:02:01,815 --> 00:02:04,235
ACCOUNTANT!

73
00:02:06,946 --> 00:02:09,156
[■■]

74
00:02:11,867 --> 00:02:15,913
[■■]

75
00:02:16,622 --> 00:02:18,165
[ANDREW] MR. MATHESON, I KNOW

76
00:02:18,874 --> 00:02:18,916
THAT YOU ARE IN FINANCIAL

77
00:02:19,583 --> 00:02:22,753
TROUBLE. THIS BOX MAY BE THE

78
00:02:23,504 --> 00:02:27,258
ANSWER TO YOUR PROBLEM. IF YOU

79
00:02:28,175 --> 00:02:29,260
PUSH THIS BUTTON, TWO THINGS

80
00:02:29,969 --> 00:02:32,429
WILL HAPPEN. ONE, SOMEONE

81
00:02:33,180 --> 00:02:33,722
SOMEWHERE IN THE WORLD, WHO YOU

82
00:02:34,306 --> 00:02:36,183
DON'T KNOW, WILL DIE.

83
00:02:36,809 --> 00:02:36,934
[MR. MATHESON] OKAY.

84
00:02:37,476 --> 00:02:40,271
[ANDREW] AND TWO...

85
00:02:41,146 --> 00:02:41,730
YOU JUST PUSHED THE BUTTON.

86
00:02:42,231 --> 00:02:44,400
YOU DIDN'T LET ME

87
00:02:44,733 --> 00:02:44,858
FINISH.

88
00:02:45,526 --> 00:02:46,110
[MR. MATHESON] UH, SORRY.

89
00:02:46,902 --> 00:02:47,278
[ANDREW] SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE IN

90
00:02:47,903 --> 00:02:48,279
THE WORLD WILL DIE...

91
00:02:49,029 --> 00:02:49,071
[MR. MATHESON] GOT IT.

92
00:02:49,780 --> 00:02:50,155
[ANDREW] DON'T HIT IT AGAIN!

93
00:02:50,948 --> 00:02:51,156
THAT'S THE SECOND... NO, JUST

94
00:02:51,949 --> 00:02:52,992
LET ME FINISH. BUT YOU'LL GET A

95
00:02:53,534 --> 00:02:54,285
MILLION DOLLARS.

96
00:02:54,868 --> 00:02:54,910
[MR. MATHESON] OH.

97
00:02:55,244 --> 00:02:56,412
[ANDREW] YEAH.

98
00:02:56,996 --> 00:02:58,706
[MR. MATHESON] OKAY.

99
00:02:59,415 --> 00:02:59,456
[ANDREW] GREAT. THAT'S GREAT.

100
00:03:00,207 --> 00:03:00,791
YOU JUST HIT IT THREE TIMES. YOU

101
00:03:01,542 --> 00:03:02,001
KILLED THREE PEOPLE. WONDERFUL.

102
00:03:02,710 --> 00:03:02,751
[MR. MATHESON] CAN I HAVE MY

103
00:03:03,043 --> 00:03:05,045
MILLION DOLLARS?

104
00:03:05,796 --> 00:03:05,838
[ANDREW] IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE

105
00:03:06,088 --> 00:03:07,923
LIKE A MORAL PUZZLE.

106
00:03:08,549 --> 00:03:09,216
[MR. MATHESON] SOLVED.

107
00:03:10,009 --> 00:03:10,050
[ANDREW] NO, THAT'S NOT HOW YOU

108
00:03:10,634 --> 00:03:11,135
SOLVE THE PUZZLE. IT'S NOT THAT

109
00:03:11,635 --> 00:03:11,885
KIND OF PUZZLE.

110
00:03:12,553 --> 00:03:12,594
[MR. MATHESON] I DON'T... I

111
00:03:13,345 --> 00:03:13,387
[ANDREW] YOU JUST KILLED FOUR

112
00:03:13,637 --> 00:03:13,846
PEOPLE...

113
00:03:14,430 --> 00:03:14,471
[MR. MATHESON] OKAY.

114
00:03:15,097 --> 00:03:15,306
[ANDREW] DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?

115
00:03:15,973 --> 00:03:19,768
[MR. MATHESON] YES.

116
00:03:20,519 --> 00:03:20,561
[ANDREW] YOU KILLED FOUR PEOPLE.

117
00:03:21,103 --> 00:03:25,024
YOU HIT THAT FOUR TIMES. WHAT?

118
00:03:25,774 --> 00:03:26,317
[MR. MATHESON] IS THAT... SHOULD

119
00:03:26,692 --> 00:03:27,109
I..?

120
00:03:27,860 --> 00:03:27,901
[ANDREW] DON'T HIT IT AGAIN! YOU

121
00:03:28,110 --> 00:03:29,111
JUST...

122
00:03:29,778 --> 00:03:29,820
[MR. MATHESON] ROUND UP?

123
00:03:31,113 --> 00:03:31,322
[ANDREW] ROUND UP TO WHAT?

124
00:03:31,947 --> 00:03:31,989
[MR. MATHESON] FIVE?

125
00:03:32,197 --> 00:03:32,323
[ANDREW] TO FIVE?

126
00:03:33,449 --> 00:03:33,490
[ANDREW] YOU DON'T WANT TO

127
00:03:34,033 --> 00:03:35,200
KILL... OKAY, LOOK. YEAH. HERE.

128
00:03:35,909 --> 00:03:37,328
OKAY? HERE'S YOUR MILLION

129
00:03:38,037 --> 00:03:39,830
DOLLARS. THERE YOU GO.

130
00:03:40,539 --> 00:03:40,581
[ANDREW] WHY DID YOU HIT IT

131
00:03:40,998 --> 00:03:41,332
AGAIN? WHY DID YOU HIT IT AGAIN?

132
00:03:42,458 --> 00:03:43,542
SECOND MILLION DOLLARS, PLEASE.

133
00:03:44,752 --> 00:03:45,336
WAY. YOU JUST GET ONE MILLION

134
00:03:46,086 --> 00:03:49,673
DOLLARS. TAKE IT.

135
00:03:50,299 --> 00:03:50,466
[MR. MATHESON] NO DEAL.

136
00:03:51,216 --> 00:03:51,342
[ANDREW] THAT'S NOT HOW... WHAT?

137
00:03:52,051 --> 00:03:52,092
NO, WHAT DEAL?

138
00:03:52,801 --> 00:03:53,344
[MR. MATHESON] I CHOOSE THE BOX.

139
00:03:54,011 --> 00:03:54,053
[ANDREW] STOP HITTING THE

140
00:03:54,553 --> 00:03:54,678
BUTTON. YOU'RE NOT CHOOSING THE

141
00:03:55,429 --> 00:03:55,721
BOX. YOU DON'T GET THE BOX. THE

142
00:03:56,430 --> 00:03:57,139
BOX ISN'T PART OF THE DEAL.

143
00:03:57,890 --> 00:03:59,141
[MR. MATHESON] OW, MY FINGER GOT

144
00:04:00,934 --> 00:04:04,938
[■■]

145
00:04:05,606 --> 00:04:06,357
[VOICEOVER] HE DUNKS IT!

146
00:04:10,611 --> 00:04:14,198
[EVANY] (SCATTING)

147
00:04:14,990 --> 00:04:15,366
[MAN] THEY'RE GETTING MARRIED

148
00:04:15,949 --> 00:04:17,701
TOMORROW.

149
00:04:22,956 --> 00:04:36,804
[■■]

150
00:04:37,471 --> 00:04:38,347
[CHERYL] ■THAT DAMN CASIO

151
00:04:39,014 --> 00:04:40,099
YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND■

152
00:04:40,849 --> 00:04:41,892
■AND I KNOW YOU'VE GOT MY BACK

153
00:04:42,518 --> 00:04:43,811
THROUGH THICK AND THIN■

154
00:04:44,436 --> 00:04:45,437
■AND YOU SING SO SWEET,

155
00:04:46,021 --> 00:04:47,398
GET ME UP ON MY FEET■

156
00:04:48,232 --> 00:04:49,358
■GOT ME SINGING YOUR PRAISES

157
00:04:50,067 --> 00:04:51,110
TO A PRE-SET SAMBA BEAT■

158
00:04:51,777 --> 00:04:52,403
■AND YOU'D NEVER STAB ME

159
00:04:53,028 --> 00:04:53,195
IN THE BACK,

160
00:04:53,862 --> 00:04:54,988
UNLIKE THAT BITCH, SARAH■

161
00:04:55,656 --> 00:04:56,407
■REMEMBER WHEN WE FOUND HER

162
00:04:57,282 --> 00:04:58,409
WITH MY BOYFRIEND IN HER BRA■

163
00:04:59,076 --> 00:04:59,326
■I TOOK YOU HOME

164
00:05:00,119 --> 00:05:01,912
AND WE WROTE A SONG THAT NIGHT■

165
00:05:02,538 --> 00:05:03,747
■HERE'S A LITTLE TASTE

166
00:05:04,498 --> 00:05:09,169
OF WHAT THAT SOUNDED LIKE...■

167
00:05:09,670 --> 00:05:11,588
[CHERYL] (CRYING)

168
00:05:12,172 --> 00:05:15,426
HOW COULD YOU, SARAH?

169
00:05:16,093 --> 00:05:17,719
I'M GONNA KILL YOU...

170
00:05:18,137 --> 00:05:25,436
(CRYING)

171
00:05:26,228 --> 00:05:26,937
[CHERYL] ■C TO THE A

172
00:05:27,438 --> 00:05:28,814
TO THE S, I, O■

173
00:05:29,565 --> 00:05:30,441
■YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE I TRUST,

174
00:05:31,275 --> 00:05:31,733
CAUSE YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE

175
00:05:32,151 --> 00:05:32,443
WHO KNOWS■

176
00:05:33,318 --> 00:05:34,278
■ALL THE SECRETS THAT I WHISPER

177
00:05:34,903 --> 00:05:36,155
TO YOU LATE AT NIGHT■

178
00:05:36,864 --> 00:05:37,823
■WHEN WE'RE UNDER MY BLANKETS

179
00:05:38,407 --> 00:05:39,575
WITH A FLASHLIGHT■

180
00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:41,452
■DO YOU LOVE ME, BABY,

181
00:05:42,119 --> 00:05:43,412
CAUSE I LOVE YOU■

182
00:05:44,204 --> 00:05:45,247
■NOW LETS BURN THIS MOTHER DOWN

183
00:06:02,222 --> 00:06:02,806
[JAMESON] GOOD MORNING, SIR.

184
00:06:03,474 --> 00:06:03,599
[MARK] CUT THE CHIT-CHAT,

185
00:06:04,308 --> 00:06:05,184
JAMESON. WHAT HAVE YOU GOT?

186
00:06:05,934 --> 00:06:06,059
[JAMESON] SIR, I'VE GOT A WHOLE

187
00:06:06,810 --> 00:06:07,686
CAMPAIGN FOR OUR NEW LINE OF

188
00:06:08,187 --> 00:06:08,979
MEN'S PRODUCTS.

189
00:06:09,688 --> 00:06:10,230
[MARK] I'M LISTENING SO HARD

190
00:06:10,647 --> 00:06:11,106
RIGHT NOW.

191
00:06:11,607 --> 00:06:11,648
[JAMESON] RAZORS.

192
00:06:12,065 --> 00:06:12,107
[MARK] LOVE 'EM.

193
00:06:12,774 --> 00:06:12,983
[JAMESON] MEN USE THEM, BUT

194
00:06:13,692 --> 00:06:14,526
HERE'S WHY THEY'LL USE OURS.

195
00:06:15,277 --> 00:06:16,487
WE'LL SHOW A GUY SHAVING, THEN

196
00:06:17,321 --> 00:06:18,697
ALL OF A SUDDEN, BOOM! CHECK OUT

197
00:06:19,198 --> 00:06:20,032
THESE JET PLANES.

198
00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:21,492
[JAMESON] RRROOOOOW.

199
00:06:22,367 --> 00:06:22,701
[MARK] SHAVING. IT'S LIKE JET

200
00:06:23,035 --> 00:06:23,785
PLANES.

201
00:06:24,536 --> 00:06:25,329
[JAMESON] EXACTLY SIR. THIS IS

202
00:06:26,079 --> 00:06:27,331
YOUR PILOT SPEAKING. PREPARE TO

203
00:06:27,998 --> 00:06:29,458
BE SO FUCKING SHOWN...

204
00:06:30,626 --> 00:06:30,834
[JAMESON] ... DEODORANT.

205
00:06:31,502 --> 00:06:32,169
[MARK] SPOILER ALERT. I'M

206
00:06:32,586 --> 00:06:32,961
LISTENING.

207
00:06:33,712 --> 00:06:33,754
[JAMESON] WHY WOULD PEOPLE USE

208
00:06:34,463 --> 00:06:35,506
OUR DEODORANT? OH, I DON'T KNOW.

209
00:06:36,465 --> 00:06:37,549
MAYBE BECAUSE OUR ADS FEATURE A

210
00:06:38,133 --> 00:06:39,718
LION RIDING A SEADOO.

211
00:06:40,469 --> 00:06:41,261
[MARK] YOU JUST SHIT MY PANTS.

212
00:06:41,929 --> 00:06:42,346
[JAMESON] THANK YOU, SIR.

213
00:06:43,138 --> 00:06:43,180
[MARK] HOW DID THAT LION GET ON

214
00:06:43,472 --> 00:06:44,014
THAT SEADOO?

215
00:06:44,723 --> 00:06:44,765
[JAMESON] THE SAME WAY OUR

216
00:06:45,265 --> 00:06:46,350
DEODORANT WILL GET ON MEN'S

217
00:06:46,767 --> 00:06:47,392
PITS, SIR.

218
00:06:48,018 --> 00:06:48,769
[JAMESON/MARK] MAGIC.

219
00:06:50,062 --> 00:06:50,521
TWEEZERS?

220
00:06:52,064 --> 00:06:53,190
PIZZA KARATE KICKING THE STATUE

221
00:06:53,941 --> 00:06:55,526
OF LIBERTY IN THE TIT SOUND,

222
00:06:55,984 --> 00:06:56,360
SIR?

223
00:06:57,110 --> 00:06:57,528
[MARK] JESUS, YOU'RE GIVING MY

224
00:06:58,111 --> 00:06:58,529
EARS A BONER.

225
00:06:59,321 --> 00:06:59,530
[JAMESON] LET'S FINISH THOSE

226
00:07:00,322 --> 00:07:01,532
EARS OFF SIR. CHECK THIS OUT.

227
00:07:02,366 --> 00:07:02,449
[MARK] IS THAT A HEAD OF LETTUCE

228
00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:04,284
PILOTING A HELICOPTER INTO A

229
00:07:04,618 --> 00:07:05,160
BEAR?

230
00:07:05,869 --> 00:07:06,328
[JAMESON] THAT'S RIGHT SIR.

231
00:07:06,662 --> 00:07:07,496
FLOSS!

232
00:07:08,247 --> 00:07:08,830
[MARK] AMAZING WORK. IF THIS

233
00:07:09,581 --> 00:07:10,541
SANDWICH WERE A WOMAN, I'D GET

234
00:07:11,250 --> 00:07:12,960
IT TO FUCK YOU RIGHT NOW.

235
00:07:13,585 --> 00:07:13,669
[JAMESON] I'LL FUCK THAT

236
00:07:14,127 --> 00:07:14,670
SANDWICH, SIR.

237
00:07:15,128 --> 00:07:15,337
[MARK] YEAH!

238
00:07:15,921 --> 00:07:15,963
[JAMESON] WE'RE MEN.

239
00:07:16,088 --> 00:07:16,213
[MARK] MEN!

240
00:07:16,672 --> 00:07:16,964
[JAMESON] MEN!

241
00:07:17,464 --> 00:07:17,631
[MARK] WE'RE MEN!

242
00:07:23,554 --> 00:07:23,679
[■■]

243
00:07:24,263 --> 00:07:25,556
[VOICEOVER] DUNKS IT,

244
00:07:26,348 --> 00:07:27,182
RIGHT IN THE POOTER!

245
00:07:42,531 --> 00:07:49,329
[■■]

246
00:07:49,955 --> 00:07:49,997
[NARRATOR] IN CINEMA'S

247
00:07:50,455 --> 00:07:51,498
PORNOGRAPHY ZONE, THE MALE

248
00:07:52,291 --> 00:07:53,000
POINT OF VIEW SHOT HAS LONG BEEN

249
00:07:53,750 --> 00:07:54,501
POPULAR, ALLOWING THE VIEWER TO

250
00:07:55,294 --> 00:07:55,586
FEEL THEY'RE EXPERIENCING THE

251
00:07:56,461 --> 00:07:58,130
SEX ACTS THEMSELVES. BUT IN

252
00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:00,966
1978, PORN DIRECTOR CAIN RONSON

253
00:08:01,633 --> 00:08:02,634
TURNED THE TABLES AND THE

254
00:08:03,302 --> 00:08:03,719
CAMERAS IN HIS HIT FILM,

255
00:08:04,136 --> 00:08:04,595
PUMP TOWN.

256
00:08:05,512 --> 00:08:06,305
[BOG] OOOH. YOU LIKE THAT?

257
00:08:07,055 --> 00:08:08,473
[ACTRESS] OH, YEAH... OH, PUT IT

258
00:08:08,890 --> 00:08:09,391
IN ME.

259
00:08:10,142 --> 00:08:11,310
[BOG] OH, I'M WAY AHEAD OF YOU.

260
00:08:11,893 --> 00:08:12,811
[ACTRESS] (GROANING)

261
00:08:13,562 --> 00:08:13,895
[NARRATOR] THE FEMALE POINT OF

262
00:08:14,563 --> 00:08:15,689
VIEW SHOT REVOLUTIONIZED

263
00:08:16,440 --> 00:08:17,357
PORNOGRAPHIC CINEMATOGRAPHY, AND

264
00:08:18,108 --> 00:08:19,234
ROCKETED RONSON TO FAME, ALONG

265
00:08:19,985 --> 00:08:20,611
WITH HIS FAVOURITE LEADING MAN,

266
00:08:21,194 --> 00:08:22,696
BOG MORRIS.

267
00:08:23,405 --> 00:08:23,614
[CAIN] AND NOW WE'RE IN THE

268
00:08:24,573 --> 00:08:25,616
MIDDLE OF PUMP TOWN, AND I GOT

269
00:08:26,491 --> 00:08:28,952
AN IDEA. AND I SAID, UH... WHAT

270
00:08:29,453 --> 00:08:29,661
DID I SAY TO YOU?

271
00:08:30,412 --> 00:08:30,454
[BOG] YOU SAID, WHY DON'T YOU

272
00:08:31,121 --> 00:08:31,163
TRY THIS ONE RIGHT DOWN THE

273
00:08:31,371 --> 00:08:31,663
BARREL.

274
00:08:32,289 --> 00:08:33,290
[CAIN] DOWN THE BARREL.

275
00:08:34,041 --> 00:08:34,625
DOWN THE BARREL. AND YOU KNOW

276
00:08:35,417 --> 00:08:35,626
WHAT? WE TURNED THOSE CAMERAS

277
00:08:36,585 --> 00:08:38,920
AROUND... BEAUTIFUL. AND I SAID,

278
00:08:39,630 --> 00:08:41,632
MORE OF THIS. I WANT MORE OF

279
00:08:42,382 --> 00:08:44,468
THIS. THIS IS ALL I WANT.

280
00:08:44,885 --> 00:08:45,344
YOU KNOW?

281
00:08:46,053 --> 00:08:46,094
[BOG] RIGHT DOWN THE BARREL.

282
00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:46,803
[CAIN] DOWN THE BARREL. DO YOUR

283
00:08:47,262 --> 00:08:49,723
VOICE. DO IT.

284
00:08:50,474 --> 00:08:50,515
[BOG] (DEEP VOICE) OH, YOU LIKE

285
00:08:50,932 --> 00:08:51,642
THAT DIPSTICK, BABY?

286
00:08:52,476 --> 00:08:52,893
OH YEAH. I'M GONNA FILL YOU

287
00:08:53,310 --> 00:08:54,102
RIGHT UP.

288
00:08:54,686 --> 00:08:56,480
WITH PREMIUM. DIESEL.

289
00:08:57,147 --> 00:08:57,188
[CAIN] YEAH. WHERE'RE YOU

290
00:08:57,189 --> 00:08:57,648
LOOKING?

291
00:08:58,523 --> 00:08:58,565
[BOG] RIGHT DOWN THE BARREL.

292
00:08:59,024 --> 00:08:59,691
[CAIN] THAT'S MY BOY.

293
00:09:00,442 --> 00:09:00,651
[NARRATOR] THE FEMALE POINT OF

294
00:09:01,485 --> 00:09:02,527
VIEW SHOT BECAME RONSON'S

295
00:09:03,195 --> 00:09:03,737
HALLMARK, AND WAS USED

296
00:09:04,488 --> 00:09:06,365
EXTENSIVELY IN HIS 1980 HIT, 18

297
00:09:06,782 --> 00:09:07,157
WHEELER.

298
00:09:07,908 --> 00:09:08,158
[BOG] OH YEAH, IT'S GONNA BE A

299
00:09:08,575 --> 00:09:08,909
LONG HAUL.

300
00:09:09,451 --> 00:09:11,328
[ACTRESS] OH YEAH!

301
00:09:12,037 --> 00:09:12,663
[BOG] BREAKER 1-9, THIS IS

302
00:09:13,455 --> 00:09:13,705
PULLED PORK, YOU COPY ON ME

303
00:09:14,164 --> 00:09:14,790
THERE, PIG PEN?

304
00:09:15,540 --> 00:09:16,291
[NARRATOR] BY 1981, RONSON WAS

305
00:09:16,958 --> 00:09:17,668
THE BEST PAID DIRECTOR IN

306
00:09:18,460 --> 00:09:19,294
PORNOGRAPHY, BUT HIS FAST-LANE

307
00:09:20,045 --> 00:09:21,672
LIFESTYLE BEGAN TO TAKE A TOLL.

308
00:09:22,506 --> 00:09:22,547
[CAIN] YEAH, I GOTTA QUESTION

309
00:09:22,923 --> 00:09:24,675
FOR YOU. HOW MANY BROADS... HOW

310
00:09:25,550 --> 00:09:25,759
MANY BROADS YOU TAKE HOME IN A

311
00:09:26,510 --> 00:09:27,386
NIGHT? YOU KNOW? I GOT SO MANY

312
00:09:28,136 --> 00:09:29,471
BROADS, I GOTTA STACK EM. YOU

313
00:09:30,180 --> 00:09:31,223
KNOW? I STACK THEM FIVE HIGH,

314
00:09:31,973 --> 00:09:33,100
AND I JUST GO ONE, BOOM! I GO

315
00:09:33,850 --> 00:09:35,811
UP, GOING UP, AND THEN UP TO THE

316
00:09:36,561 --> 00:09:37,062
NEXT ONE,■AND THE NEXT ONE AND

317
00:09:37,813 --> 00:09:38,647
THE NEXT ONE. THERE ARE SO MANY

318
00:09:39,439 --> 00:09:39,773
GIRLS IN MY SWIMMING POOL, I DO

319
00:09:40,357 --> 00:09:41,692
A CANNONBALL INTO THE

320
00:09:42,484 --> 00:09:42,526
POOL, AND GIRLS GO FLYING ONTO

321
00:09:43,068 --> 00:09:44,695
THE SIDE. IT'S AMAZING.

322
00:09:45,529 --> 00:09:46,697
[CAIN] I ONCE HAD A DREAM I WAS

323
00:09:47,656 --> 00:09:48,115
FUCKING THE MOON. I DON'T EVEN

324
00:09:48,782 --> 00:09:49,700
KNOW IF THAT WAS A DREAM. I

325
00:09:50,659 --> 00:09:51,743
THINK THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED.

326
00:09:52,494 --> 00:09:52,828
IT'S NEVER GONNA STOP. IT'S DOWN

327
00:09:53,578 --> 00:09:53,954
THE BARREL. IT'S NEVER GONNA

328
00:09:54,621 --> 00:09:55,330
STOP BEING DOWN THE BARREL.

329
00:09:56,039 --> 00:09:56,456
THAT'S LIFE. LIFE IS DOWN THE

330
00:09:57,207 --> 00:09:57,708
BARREL. YOU KNOW? YOU LOOK LIFE

331
00:09:58,625 --> 00:09:59,626
IN THE EYES AND YOU FUCK IT.

332
00:10:00,877 --> 00:10:02,504
WOULD BE ROCKED IN 1982, WHEN

333
00:10:03,255 --> 00:10:04,798
RONSON, AT THE PEAK OF HIS FAME,

334
00:10:05,382 --> 00:10:06,258
WAS CONVICTED OF DRUG

335
00:10:07,008 --> 00:10:08,301
TRAFFICKING AND SENTENCED TO 10

336
00:10:09,052 --> 00:10:10,721
YEARS IN PRISON. IN ORDER TO

337
00:10:11,430 --> 00:10:11,680
FULFILL HIS CONTRACTUAL

338
00:10:12,472 --> 00:10:13,515
OBLIGATIONS, HE HAD HIS 8-YEAR

339
00:10:14,266 --> 00:10:14,891
OLD SON, DUSTIN, TAKE OVER HIS

340
00:10:15,642 --> 00:10:16,852
WRITING AND DIRECTORIAL DUTIES.

341
00:10:17,602 --> 00:10:18,729
HERE'S A SCENE FROM BOOBIES AND

342
00:10:19,271 --> 00:10:20,313
TOOTS.

343
00:10:21,022 --> 00:10:21,440
[BOG] OH, YOUR BAGINA IS ALL

344
00:10:22,190 --> 00:10:23,400
HAIRY, LIKE MY DOG. HIS NAME IS

345
00:10:23,817 --> 00:10:24,359
POOCHINNI.

346
00:10:25,110 --> 00:10:25,152
[ACTRESS] OH. CAN I COME TO YOUR

347
00:10:25,569 --> 00:10:26,403
HOUSE AND PLAY WITH YOUR DOG?

348
00:10:27,112 --> 00:10:27,571
[BOG] OH, I'M GONNA PEE PEE,

349
00:10:28,029 --> 00:10:28,238
WENT PEE PEE.

350
00:10:28,989 --> 00:10:29,030
[ACTRESS] I LIKE YOU. LET'S GET

351
00:10:29,239 --> 00:10:29,740
MARRIED.

352
00:10:30,282 --> 00:10:33,285
[BOG] OOOOOKAY!

353
00:10:34,035 --> 00:10:34,536
[NARRATOR] IN 1985, UNABLE TO

354
00:10:35,203 --> 00:10:35,787
WITHSTAND THE ISOLATION OF

355
00:10:36,455 --> 00:10:37,789
PRISON, RONSON TOOK HIS OWN

356
00:10:38,540 --> 00:10:40,250
LIFE. HE WROTE HIS SUICIDE NOTE

357
00:10:40,876 --> 00:10:41,752
INTO THE SCRIPT OF HIS

358
00:10:42,711 --> 00:10:42,753
POST-HOSTUMOUS FILM, THE FINAL

359
00:10:43,378 --> 00:10:44,254
CURTAIN.

360
00:10:44,963 --> 00:10:45,756
[BOG] I LOVE YOU ALL. AND I'M

361
00:10:46,590 --> 00:10:46,757
SORRY IF THIS DECISION CAUSES

362
00:10:47,507 --> 00:10:48,675
YOU ANY PAIN, BUT I LOOK INTO

363
00:10:49,426 --> 00:10:50,510
THE FUTURE AND ALL I SEE IS

364
00:10:54,306 --> 00:11:00,520
[■■]

365
00:11:01,188 --> 00:11:01,521
[CAIN] DOWN THE BARREL...

366
00:11:02,063 --> 00:11:05,150
DOWN THE BARREL...

367
00:11:05,901 --> 00:11:05,941
[ANDREW] SO WHAT ARE YOU GOING

368
00:11:05,942 --> 00:11:06,860
TO DO?

369
00:11:07,402 --> 00:11:07,486
[MARK] FOR WHAT?

370
00:11:08,111 --> 00:11:08,403
[ANDREW] FOR YOUR JOB?

371
00:11:09,112 --> 00:11:09,154
[MARK] OH, I DON'T KNOW. I'LL

372
00:11:09,613 --> 00:11:11,198
JUST DO WHAT I ALWAYS DO. STUFF

373
00:11:11,907 --> 00:11:12,115
USUALLY JUST SORT OF COMES TO

374
00:11:12,866 --> 00:11:14,242
ME. LIKE TWO SUMMERS AGO, I GOT

375
00:11:14,993 --> 00:11:15,619
MONEY FROM A GUY BECAUSE I LET

376
00:11:16,328 --> 00:11:17,662
HIM SHAVE MY HEAD, BALD. THAT

377
00:11:18,455 --> 00:11:18,789
WAS THE SUMMER I WENT TO EUROPE.

378
00:11:19,706 --> 00:11:19,831
IT WAS FORTUITOUS BECAUSE I MET

379
00:11:20,499 --> 00:11:22,501
A FUN PACK OF BALD GUYS IN

380
00:11:23,251 --> 00:11:24,294
BELGIUM AT A HOSTEL, AND THEN WE

381
00:11:25,045 --> 00:11:25,837
ALL HUNG OUT, AND WE WERE LIKE

382
00:11:26,546 --> 00:11:27,506
"THE BALD GUYS". WE ALL GOT

383
00:11:28,256 --> 00:11:28,715
MATCHING TATTOOS. DIDN'T I SHOW

384
00:11:29,508 --> 00:11:30,425
YOU THAT? MATCHING THROWING STAR

385
00:11:30,801 --> 00:11:31,384
TATTOOS.

386
00:11:32,135 --> 00:11:32,177
[ANDREW] THAT'S NOT A THROWING

387
00:11:32,552 --> 00:11:33,011
STAR, MARK.

388
00:11:33,553 --> 00:11:33,804
[MARK] YES, IT IS.

389
00:11:34,763 --> 00:11:34,971
[ANDREW] NO, IT'S NOT. THAT'S A

390
00:11:35,347 --> 00:11:37,808
SWASTIKA.

391
00:11:38,767 --> 00:11:40,060
[MARK] OH NO. WE JUMPED AROUND A

392
00:11:40,811 --> 00:11:42,813
LOT. ALTHOUGH LOOKING BACK, SOME

393
00:11:43,605 --> 00:11:44,147
OF THOSE JOKES WERE DEFINITELY

394
00:11:44,898 --> 00:11:46,817
NAZI JOKES. WHAT'S WHITE AND

395
00:11:47,692 --> 00:11:49,027
WHITE AND WHITE ALL OVER? A

396
00:11:49,736 --> 00:11:51,446
PERFECT WORLD. YEAH, THAT'S A

397
00:11:51,863 --> 00:11:52,364
NAZI JOKE.

398
00:11:53,114 --> 00:11:53,156
[ANDREW] WHY DON'T YOU TELL THAT

399
00:11:53,657 --> 00:11:53,698
JOKE TO EVANY AND SEE HOW SHE

400
00:11:53,907 --> 00:11:53,990
FEELS?

401
00:11:54,658 --> 00:11:55,450
[MARK] WHY? WHY WOULDN'T I?

402
00:11:56,076 --> 00:11:56,117
[ANDREW] OKAY, WELL MAYBE

403
00:11:56,701 --> 00:11:57,202
BECAUSE EVANY IS JEWISH.

404
00:11:57,661 --> 00:11:58,036
[MARK] WHAT?

405
00:11:58,745 --> 00:12:00,247
[ANDREW] YEAH, SHE'S JEWISH.

406
00:12:00,831 --> 00:12:00,997
DON'T MAKE THAT FACE!

407
00:12:01,623 --> 00:12:01,832
[MARK] NO, I'M SORRY...

408
00:12:02,666 --> 00:12:05,252
[MARK] SO, WHAT'S WHITE AND

409
00:12:05,877 --> 00:12:08,672
WHITE AND WHITE ALL OVER?

410
00:12:09,297 --> 00:12:10,549
[EVANY] A PERFECT WORLD.

411
00:12:11,258 --> 00:12:12,425
[ANDREW] OKAY, THAT'S NOT...

412
00:12:12,884 --> 00:12:13,260
[MARK] MONEY!

413
00:12:13,885 --> 00:12:15,262
[EVANY] MONEY, OH NO...

414
00:12:16,012 --> 00:12:16,054
[ANDREW] WE'RE NOT PUTTING THIS

415
00:12:16,471 --> 00:12:16,638
ON TELEVISION.

416
00:12:17,138 --> 00:12:17,305
[EVANY] WHY NOT?

417
00:12:18,598 --> 00:12:19,057
EDIT IT OUT. I'M EDITING THIS

418
00:12:19,808 --> 00:12:20,183
PIECE SO THERE IS NO WAY I'M

419
00:12:20,934 --> 00:12:21,560
GOING TO PUT THIS IN. MARK, DO

420
00:12:22,269 --> 00:12:22,477
YOU WANT EVERYONE TO THINK

421
00:12:23,061 --> 00:12:23,103
THAT YOU'RE A RACIST?

422
00:12:24,229 --> 00:12:24,813
THIS PIECE, AND RIGHT NOW YOU'VE

423
00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:25,814
GOT A HORSE FOR A HEAD.

424
00:12:26,314 --> 00:12:26,731
[EVANY] NICE.

425
00:12:27,482 --> 00:12:27,524
[ANDREW] WHAT DO YOU MEAN I

426
00:12:28,608 --> 00:12:28,650
[ANDREW] OKAY, SO THIS TANGENT

427
00:12:29,276 --> 00:12:30,443
HAS GOTTEN HORRIFYING. THE POINT

428
00:12:31,069 --> 00:12:31,862
IS, WE REALLY NEED TO GET

429
00:12:34,155 --> 00:12:54,968
[■■]

430
00:12:55,719 --> 00:12:55,760
[PILOT] HELLO, WE'RE FLYING LOW

431
00:12:56,136 --> 00:12:57,304
HERE. HELLO? IT'S COMPLETE

432
00:12:58,013 --> 00:12:58,722
DESTRUCTION. WHAT'S GOING ON

433
00:12:59,180 --> 00:13:00,515
DOWN THERE?

434
00:13:00,932 --> 00:13:02,475
(SCREAMING)

435
00:13:06,646 --> 00:13:23,580
[■■]

436
00:13:23,997 --> 00:13:36,927
(GUNSHOTS)

437
00:13:45,393 --> 00:13:53,652
[■■]

438
00:13:54,361 --> 00:13:58,406
[MARK] YES, YES, OKAY, YES!

439
00:13:58,823 --> 00:14:02,911
(LAUGHING)

440
00:14:03,703 --> 00:14:05,121
[BRIAN] ACCOUNTANT! YOU SON OF A

441
00:14:05,705 --> 00:14:09,209
BITCH. WHERE ARE YOU?

442
00:14:10,543 --> 00:14:16,466
[■■]

443
00:14:21,429 --> 00:14:23,598
[■■]

444
00:14:44,035 --> 00:14:44,828
[INTERCOM] PAGING DR. STATEMENT.

445
00:14:45,412 --> 00:14:46,204
[DOCTOR] MR. DAVIS?

446
00:14:46,871 --> 00:14:47,163
CONGRATULATIONS, YOU'RE A

447
00:14:47,497 --> 00:14:48,039
FATHER.

448
00:14:48,581 --> 00:14:48,707
[MR. DAVIS] (SIGH)

449
00:14:49,249 --> 00:14:49,290
AND HE'S HEALTHY?

450
00:14:49,916 --> 00:14:50,125
[DOCTOR] GOT 10 FINGERS AND

451
00:14:50,750 --> 00:14:54,587
10 TOES. BUT THAT'S ALL.

452
00:14:55,213 --> 00:14:59,009
[MR. DAVIS] OH GOD. NO...

453
00:14:59,759 --> 00:14:59,801
[DOCTOR] (FEMALE VOICE) SOME

454
00:15:01,678 --> 00:15:04,597
[■■]

455
00:15:05,306 --> 00:15:06,558
[VOICEOVER] DOING IT DIRTY!

456
00:15:10,854 --> 00:15:12,022
(GUN SHOTS)

457
00:15:12,981 --> 00:15:13,398
[SERGEANT] ALL RIGHT, MEN. ON MY

458
00:15:14,107 --> 00:15:14,399
SIGNAL WE'RE GOING OVER THAT

459
00:15:15,150 --> 00:15:16,026
RIDGE AND WE'RE NOT COMING BACK

460
00:15:16,943 --> 00:15:17,444
UNTIL EVERY GODDAMN GERMAN IS

461
00:15:17,777 --> 00:15:25,952
DEAD.

462
00:15:26,703 --> 00:15:27,245
[SOLDIER 1] OH MAN. CAN YOU

463
00:15:27,996 --> 00:15:28,038
IMAGINE IF WE ACTUALLY WON THIS

464
00:15:28,955 --> 00:15:31,791
THING? WOULDN'T THAT BE WEIRD?

465
00:15:32,542 --> 00:15:32,584
WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF WE ACTUALLY

466
00:15:33,001 --> 00:15:34,044
WON? WOULD YOU BE LIKE, YEAH, WE

467
00:15:34,669 --> 00:15:36,379
DID IT! YEAH, WE WON!

468
00:15:36,880 --> 00:15:37,881
(SHOOTING NOISES)

469
00:15:38,631 --> 00:15:38,673
[SOLDIER 2] YEAH, SURE. YEAH, I

470
00:15:38,798 --> 00:15:39,049
GUESS SO.

471
00:15:39,841 --> 00:15:39,883
[SOLDIER 1] WHAT IF WE WENT OVER

472
00:15:40,508 --> 00:15:41,301
THERE, WE GOT IN THE TRENCH, AND

473
00:15:42,010 --> 00:15:42,594
THEN IT TURNED OUT NO ONE WAS

474
00:15:43,344 --> 00:15:45,805
THERE. IT WAS JUST FLIES. AND

475
00:15:46,556 --> 00:15:47,640
THOSE WERE THE ENEMY! THE FLIES

476
00:15:48,391 --> 00:15:48,516
WERE THE ENEMY, WHAT WOULD YOU

477
00:15:48,808 --> 00:15:49,225
DO?

478
00:15:49,893 --> 00:15:50,101
[SOLDIER 2] I DON'T KNOW. I

479
00:15:50,435 --> 00:15:51,269
DON'T.

480
00:15:52,020 --> 00:15:52,062
[SOLDIER 1] WHAT IF I GOT OVER

481
00:15:52,729 --> 00:15:52,896
THERE AND I GOT SHOT RIGHT IN

482
00:15:53,646 --> 00:15:54,397
THE HEAD, AND I COULDN'T SAY ANY

483
00:15:55,148 --> 00:15:56,066
OF MY SS ANYMORE. WOULDN'T THAT

484
00:15:56,608 --> 00:15:56,649
BE WEIRD?

485
00:15:57,358 --> 00:15:57,400
[SOLDIER 2] YEAH, I GUESS THAT

486
00:15:57,817 --> 00:15:58,526
WOULD BE WEIRD. SURE.

487
00:15:59,235 --> 00:15:59,277
[SOLDIER 1] WOULD YOU HELP ME

488
00:15:59,444 --> 00:15:59,486
OUT?

489
00:16:00,236 --> 00:16:00,653
[SOLDIER 2] NO, I WOULD NOT HELP

490
00:16:01,362 --> 00:16:01,404
YOU OUT. THAT'S JUST NOT THAT

491
00:16:01,988 --> 00:16:02,238
BIG OF A DISABILITY.

492
00:16:02,989 --> 00:16:03,031
[SOLDIER 1] I THINK IT'S A HUGE

493
00:16:03,448 --> 00:16:03,573
DISABILITY.

494
00:16:04,324 --> 00:16:04,407
[SOLDIER 2] NO! KEEP YOUR HEAD

495
00:16:05,158 --> 00:16:06,117
DOWN. THE MOON IS OUT. THEY CAN

496
00:16:06,451 --> 00:16:07,077
SEE US.

497
00:16:07,911 --> 00:16:07,952
[SOLDIER 1] CAN YOU IMAGINE IF

498
00:16:08,203 --> 00:16:09,204
THERE WAS NO MOON. THERE WOULD

499
00:16:09,746 --> 00:16:10,038
BE NO WEREWOLVES.

500
00:16:10,955 --> 00:16:11,664
WEREWOLVES ANYWAYS.

501
00:16:12,916 --> 00:16:12,957
THERE WERE WEREWOLVES?

502
00:16:13,541 --> 00:16:13,583
[SOLDIER 2] NO! THERE'S NEVER

503
00:16:13,958 --> 00:16:15,210
GONNA BE. JUST SHUT UP! WHY DO

504
00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:16,628
YOU KEEP DOING THIS? WHAT WOULD

505
00:16:17,378 --> 00:16:18,213
YOU DO IF YOU ONLY HAD TWO WEEKS

506
00:16:18,963 --> 00:16:19,380
TO LIVE, IF YOU WERE TRAPPED IN

507
00:16:20,131 --> 00:16:21,091
A PLASTER MOLD OF YOUR OWN FACE?

508
00:16:21,966 --> 00:16:22,801
I DON'T KNOW! WHO ASKS THAT

509
00:16:23,176 --> 00:16:24,552
QUESTION?

510
00:16:25,303 --> 00:16:25,345
[SOLDIER 1] I'M JUST CURIOUS.

511
00:16:26,096 --> 00:16:26,262
[SOLDIER 2] WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF

512
00:16:26,971 --> 00:16:28,598
YOUR NAME WAS BEEF SOUP? I

513
00:16:29,099 --> 00:16:29,140
WOULD CHANGE IT!

514
00:16:29,557 --> 00:16:30,266
(GUNSHOT)

515
00:16:31,017 --> 00:16:34,104
[SOLIDER 1] OH! KEVIN! KEVIN! OH

516
00:16:35,063 --> 00:16:35,271
MY GOD, YOU'VE BEEN SHOT! OH MY

517
00:16:35,605 --> 00:16:36,231
GOD.

518
00:16:36,981 --> 00:16:37,023
[SOLDIER 2] I'M NOT GONNA MAKE

519
00:16:37,357 --> 00:16:37,732
IT, MAN.

520
00:16:38,441 --> 00:16:38,483
[SOLDIER 1] YOU'RE GONNA MAKE

521
00:16:38,942 --> 00:16:39,442
IT. JUST STAY WITH ME BUDDY.

522
00:16:39,859 --> 00:16:41,152
LOOK AT ME.

523
00:16:42,445 --> 00:16:44,405
THIS LETTER TO MY WIFE.

524
00:16:45,156 --> 00:16:46,783
[SOLDIER 1] OKAY. LISTEN, KEVIN.

525
00:16:47,492 --> 00:16:49,119
LOOK AT ME. KEVIN, CAN YOU

526
00:16:49,911 --> 00:16:50,620
IMAGINE IF WHEN I GAVE THIS

527
00:16:51,371 --> 00:16:52,497
LETTER TO YOUR WIFE, IT TURNED

528
00:16:53,206 --> 00:16:54,124
OUT SHE WAS AN OWL, WOULDN'T

529
00:16:54,749 --> 00:16:58,128
THAT BE WEIRD?

530
00:16:59,045 --> 00:17:01,089
[SOLDIER 2] LET... ME... DIE.

531
00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:02,674
[SOLIDER 1] GERMANS! CAN YOU

532
00:17:03,424 --> 00:17:04,384
IMAGINE IF I GAVE THIS LETTER TO

533
00:17:05,093 --> 00:17:06,886
THIS GUY'S WIFE AND IT TURNED

534
00:17:07,637 --> 00:17:10,014
OUT SHE WAS AN OWL?! WOULDN'T

535
00:17:10,557 --> 00:17:12,016
THAT BE WEIRD?!

536
00:17:12,767 --> 00:17:13,518
[GERMAN] LIKE A REGULAR SIZED

537
00:17:14,185 --> 00:17:15,145
OWL OR A HUMAN SIZED OWL?

538
00:17:15,979 --> 00:17:17,605
[SOLDIER 1] A REGULAR SIZED OWL!

539
00:17:18,356 --> 00:17:18,439
[GERMAN] YES, THAT WOULD BE VERY

540
00:17:18,773 --> 00:17:19,149
WEIRD.

541
00:17:19,983 --> 00:17:22,402
[VOICEOVER] JESUS CHRIST!

542
00:17:22,986 --> 00:17:26,030
[CHERYL] BASKETBALL.

543
00:17:26,614 --> 00:17:31,161
[EVANY] (SCATTING)

544
00:17:31,870 --> 00:17:32,203
[BRIAN] THAT'S ACID!

545
00:17:32,787 --> 00:17:35,165
[EVANY] ACID? OH GOD.

546
00:17:39,711 --> 00:17:39,752
[BRIAN] DO YOU KNOW THE INTERNET

547
00:17:40,128 --> 00:17:40,461
PASSWORD?

548
00:17:41,129 --> 00:17:45,008
[BILL] YEAH, IT'S RVG987...

549
00:17:45,508 --> 00:17:45,550
[BRIAN] MM HMM.

550
00:17:46,134 --> 00:17:50,096
[BILL] 6...5... 4...

551
00:18:45,818 --> 00:18:48,696
[■■]

552
00:18:49,447 --> 00:18:49,656
[VOICEOVER] PUT A RUBBER ON THAT

553
00:18:52,784 --> 00:18:58,373
[■■]

554
00:18:58,957 --> 00:19:01,251
[BRIAN] ACCOUNTANT!

555
00:19:01,793 --> 00:19:03,753
ACCOUNTANT!

556
00:19:04,170 --> 00:19:05,880
ACCOUNTANT!

557
00:19:06,297 --> 00:19:07,006
ACCOUNTANT!

558
00:19:18,226 --> 00:19:27,277
[■■]

559
00:19:28,069 --> 00:19:31,322
[SOLDIER 1] (KNOCKING)

560
00:19:31,781 --> 00:19:32,532
[OWL] (HOOTS)

561
00:19:33,283 --> 00:19:34,993
[SOLDIER 1] OHHHH! SHE'S AN OWL,

562
00:19:35,535 --> 00:19:35,952
ISN'T THAT WEIRD?

563
00:19:37,829 --> 00:19:41,291
[■■]

564
00:20:00,226 --> 00:20:01,561
[EVANY] SO, WE ALL GOT FIRED

565
00:20:02,270 --> 00:20:04,188
FROM OUR JOBS, PRETTY MUCH.

566
00:20:04,856 --> 00:20:05,315
[CHERYL] I LIKE MY JOB.

567
00:20:05,940 --> 00:20:06,316
[EVANY] COOL.

568
00:20:07,191 --> 00:20:07,400
[ANDREW] OKAY, CHERYL, YOU WHAT?

569
00:20:08,067 --> 00:20:09,319
YOU GOTTA PUT THAT AWAY.

570
00:20:10,111 --> 00:20:10,320
[CHERYL] DON'T YOU FUCKING TELL

571
00:20:11,112 --> 00:20:11,779
ME WHAT TO DO, ANDREW! I'LL BLOW

572
00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:13,364
EVANY'S HEAD OFF!

573
00:20:13,906 --> 00:20:13,948
[ANDREW] I GOT IT!

574
00:20:14,574 --> 00:20:15,116
[CHERYL] I'M A RENEGADE!

575
00:20:15,533 --> 00:20:16,284
(DOOR BELL)

576
00:20:17,035 --> 00:20:17,075
[EVANY] OKAY, EVERYBODY, PIPE

577
00:20:17,076 --> 00:20:20,038
DOWN!

578
00:20:20,705 --> 00:20:20,747
THAT WILL BE OUR LANDLORD

579
00:20:21,331 --> 00:20:23,958
COMING TO EVICT US, SO...

580
00:20:24,625 --> 00:20:26,044
[EVANY] OH, HEY MARK. WE

581
00:20:26,794 --> 00:20:27,211
ACTUALLY THOUGHT YOU WERE THE

582
00:20:27,920 --> 00:20:29,255
LANDLORD JUST NOW, SO...

583
00:20:29,756 --> 00:20:30,048
[MARK] I AM.

584
00:20:30,506 --> 00:20:31,341
[EVANY] WHAT?

585
00:20:32,300 --> 00:20:32,925
[MARK] YEAH. YOU'D BE SURPRISED

586
00:20:33,634 --> 00:20:34,177
HOW MUCH MONEY YOU CAN MAKE

587
00:20:34,886 --> 00:20:34,927
WALKING DOWN THE STREET WITH

588
00:20:35,470 --> 00:20:37,055
THIS FACE. I BOUGHT THE PLACE.

589
00:20:37,555 --> 00:20:39,349
[ANDREW] AWESOME!

590
00:20:40,058 --> 00:20:40,099
[EVANY] THAT'S AMAZING.

591
00:20:40,683 --> 00:20:40,725
[ANDREW] OH MY GOD, THAT'S

592
00:20:40,850 --> 00:20:41,184
GREAT.

593
00:20:41,851 --> 00:20:42,352
[EVANY] WE WERE SO WORRIED.

594
00:20:43,311 --> 00:20:43,561
[MARK] YEAH, SO WHEN ARE YOU

595
00:20:44,062 --> 00:20:46,272
GUYS MOVING OUT?

596
00:20:46,856 --> 00:20:47,440
[EVANY] I'M SORRY?

597
00:20:48,191 --> 00:20:48,983
[MARK] I'M A LANDLORD. THIS IS

598
00:20:49,734 --> 00:20:51,277
WHAT I DO FOR A JOB RIGHT NOW.

599
00:20:51,944 --> 00:20:52,445
AM I BEING CRAZY HERE?

600
00:20:53,154 --> 00:20:53,196
[EVANY] BUT, MARK, YOU'RE OUR

601
00:20:53,571 --> 00:20:54,155
FRIEND.

602
00:20:54,781 --> 00:20:55,406
[MARK] (EVIL VOICE) NO!

603
00:20:56,074 --> 00:20:57,909
I AM YOUR LANDLORD. I DON'T

604
00:20:58,576 --> 00:20:59,160
KNOW WHAT PART OF THIS YOU

605
00:20:59,911 --> 00:21:00,787
DON'T UNDERSTAND, BUT LET ME

606
00:21:01,537 --> 00:21:04,582
MAKE IT VERY CLEAR: YOU PAY RENT

607
00:21:05,333 --> 00:21:10,046
TO STAY IN THE HOUSE THAT I OWN!

608
00:21:10,630 --> 00:21:12,382
[MARK] OH! MY HEART!

609
00:21:13,091 --> 00:21:13,341
[EVANY] MARK, OH MY GOD.

610
00:21:14,133 --> 00:21:16,928
[MARK] OH! I HURT MY HEART. HELP

611
00:21:17,220 --> 00:21:17,470
ME!

612
00:21:18,221 --> 00:21:18,262
[ANDREW] GET HIM ON THE GROUND!

613
00:21:18,805 --> 00:21:18,888
GET HIM ON THE GROUND!

614
00:21:19,305 --> 00:21:20,390
(SHOUTING)

615
00:21:21,349 --> 00:21:22,308
[MARK] DON'T CALL AN AMBULANCE.

616
00:21:22,975 --> 00:21:23,226
[EVANY] SCOTT, CALL AN

617
00:21:26,104 --> 00:21:27,230
(CHAOTIC SHOUTING)

618
00:21:27,855 --> 00:21:45,456
(AMBULANCE SIRENS)

619
00:21:45,873 --> 00:21:49,127
(GUN SHOTS)

620
00:21:49,627 --> 00:21:52,880
[MARK] (GASP!)

621
00:21:53,631 --> 00:21:54,966
[EVANY] HOW YOU DOING, BIG GUY?

622
00:21:55,675 --> 00:21:57,760
[MARK] BETTER. HEY, LISTEN, I

623
00:21:58,511 --> 00:21:59,345
THOUGHT ABOUT IT, AND YOU GUYS

624
00:22:00,138 --> 00:22:01,639
CAN KEEP THE APARTMENT. I GUESS

625
00:22:02,306 --> 00:22:03,933
I HAD A CHANGE OF HEART.

626
00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:05,435
[EVANY] THAT'S SO FUNNY.

627
00:22:06,352 --> 00:22:06,394
[MARK] OKAY, CAN SOMEONE TAKE

628
00:22:06,769 --> 00:22:08,729
CARE OF THIS FOR ME PLEASE?

629
00:22:09,230 --> 00:22:10,148
[ANDREW] NURSE?

630
00:22:10,731 --> 00:22:11,357
[BILL] OH, HEY GUYS.

631
00:22:11,899 --> 00:22:12,024
[ANDREW] BILL?

632
00:22:12,775 --> 00:22:12,817
[BILL] I'M JUST HERE MASCOTTING

633
00:22:13,317 --> 00:22:14,444
FOR ED'S BED PANS. THE REAL

634
00:22:28,791 --> 00:22:36,716
[BRIAN] (GRUNTING)

635
00:22:44,182 --> 00:22:59,071
[■■]

636
00:22:59,572 --> 00:22:59,906
■LATE AFTERNOON

637
00:23:00,573 --> 00:23:02,742
ANOTHER DAY IS NEARLY DONE■

638
00:23:03,034 --> 00:23:06,454
[■■]

639
00:23:07,163 --> 00:23:08,289
■A DARKER GREY IS BREAKING

640
00:23:08,915 --> 00:23:10,500
THROUGH A LIGHTER ONE■

641
00:23:10,875 --> 00:23:13,961
[■■]

642
00:23:14,712 --> 00:23:15,755
■A THOUSAND SHARPENED ELBOWS

643
00:23:16,297 --> 00:23:21,511
IN THE UNDERGROUND■

644
00:23:22,386 --> 00:23:26,932
■THAT HOLLOW HURRIED SOUND